Finding Contentment in the Schedules That Weigh Us Down

“Much of the stress that people feel doesn’t come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they started.”

David Allen

Organization-and I would dare say normalcy-weigh heavily on my overall feelings of happiness and contentment in life. However, they are both double-edged swords. Where normalcy of a routine dictates the constant need to muddle through the chaos of scheduling, the other, or not being on a schedule, lends itself to feeling out of control and disorganized.

As I mentioned in a previous post, organization is important to me-both physical organization, as well as mental organization. It is how I function as a type-A, high-strung Virgo. But sometimes I don’t know whether I am happiest when I have to be married to a constant schedule, OR, when I have downtime and am completely off a schedule.

This is a two week example of what my schedule looked like in July of last year. There is something EVERY.DAY. except for Sunday of the second week (and sometimes multiple things on one day). Let’s also remember that I am a teacher, so none of this even includes work-or the girl’s schooling-because we were on summer break.

I was just recently talking with a good friend of mine regarding this. It actually came up due to some negative reasons. He and I got into an argument, and after a few days he told me that he thought he had discovered why he had snapped at me: he was completely off his schedule. We go to the gym together around four days a week-and that had not happened-plus he was in and out of town which was also not typical, and he just got frustrated. Unfortunately the spat between he and I is how it came out.

It was like he was floundering in a land of no schedule. He felt a loss of control, and instead of relishing in some downtime (or even in something different from the typical rat race of life), he went AWOL, even from the things that he could still control. It was rough.

A schedule, or self-imposed organization within our lives, creates normalcy and allows us to feel a sense of purpose. It gives us control. Being married to your job, or knowing that you need to get your child to a practice every night of the week-or even having a scheduled gym time for yourself-helps you to feel and stay in control of your life.

This sign hangs in my daughter’s bathroom. It is a great reminder that even getting up, dressed, with your teeth brushed, is part of schedule.

It also warrants productivity. I can remember hundreds of times where I finally had time to simply do what it was that I needed to do, but during so many of those times I just got overwhelmed by HOW MUCH there was to complete. SO, I didn’t do any of it. Instead, I wandered around my house aimlessly, and arbitrarily picked up and put down random items. Or I would tell my kids that certain things needed to get done, but I couldn’t even seem to manage their mandated tasks. And what happened after that? The next morning, when I was still looking at the same mess, I was floundering just as badly as I was the day before, but this time I was aggravated.

While we all definitely need downtime (I actually talked about this in a past post), we also need to give credit to what our normal, day-to-day life looks like. It is with routine and expectation that we feel most secure, and with all things, finding a balance between too much and too little is what allows us to live harmoniously.

If you are floundering without a schedule for some time and you feel like you have lost your sense of control, try to combat those feelings as best as possible. The beginning of that would be simply trying to ride the wave. Know that your schedule will once again, soon, pick back up and carry on. And until that happens, prioritize your time with what you can do quickly. This allows you to feel a sense of accomplishment right off the bat, and will hopefully propel you into taking some larger steps towards completing another task.

Coming from a self-proclaimed control freak, try your best to control what you can, both in and out of an organized schedule. Because too much of either of those things, will drive anyone batty. Even when you are on vacation, in say, sunny California-you can only take so much unscheduled time before you just need to be back home, on a routine. We talk about how much kids thrive under routine, but adults do as well.

And I believe that some of this could even be attributed to our eating habits. It is hard to eat your “normal diet” when your schedule is wonky (of course we all binge while on vacation). That is why I hold so tightly to my intermittent fasting schedule, both on vacations and off vacations. I may not make my 22 hours every day during vacation time, but I 100% ensure that I commit to a fast, and that it will be no less than 18 hours. It is one way that I can keep an element of control, within everything else being chaotic. That element of control is important to me, but it also means I don’t have to pick myself back up from some HUGE derailment once vacation is over.

As one of my favorites, Gretchen Rubin, says: the days may be long, but the years are short. Make the most of every day, both in and out of routine. Because you really do need both in order to have the best life.