How and Why Goal Setting is So Integral

“If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hopes.”

Andrew Carnegie

Amen, Mr. Carnegie! Amen.

Why is it that when we are talking about goal setting regarding education, or furthering our degrees, or getting married and having children, it seems as though we set them, without thought? I mean, who didn’t have aspirations about their future that looked like goals, when they were in high school? I want to have my teaching degree by the time I am 22, be married by 25, and have kids at 27. It seemed as though most “kids” had goals such as these by the time they were graduating high school – at least my senior class did.

My favorite drink and a new journal!

However, once life really starts happening: you have a full-time job, maybe a marriage, perhaps a kid or two – it is like goals stop existing. At that point, you are just supposed to live life. You should be “done” and settled. Right?

WRONG.

Setting goals, constantly learning, growing even as an adult, those are all super important elements that need continued work if you hope to feel content mentally, and live a happy life. This, unfortunately, is something that we adults often forget when we are trying to simply keep our heads above water with the day-to-day. It is something that I had forgotten, until about a year ago.

You are not done living life until you take your last breath. Why is it then, that so many of us STOP living ours?! We simply seem to exist. We breeze in and out of experiences, and I would argue that we continue our dreams – perhaps – (you know, those grand scale ideas that usually start with, “wouldn’t that be nice?!”) but we don’t actually strive for what we truly want. We are too old – too set in our ways – too comfortable – too poor – too fat. I mean, come on!!

This was a few years ago, however I have decided that it is a goal picture for me. I would really like to feel this comfortable in my clothes again.

I am a life-long learner. I know that about myself. I don’t like to be stagnant – I want to learn and read and continue to grow and be better, always. It took a while for me .. a long while .. but I finally made the connection between setting goals and my own happiness. It is when I am most stagnant or feel the most stuck that I am the least happy.

SO, I outwardly proclaimed (alone, in my own bedroom – I’m cool like that) that it was going to change. And slowly, things have.

One of the first things that helped me, was to have a plan within my eating and exercise schedules. I didn’t actively set out to make goals about those two elements of my life, but that is precisely what I did. I chose an eating regiment that worked for me, that I was excited about, and that I knew I would see changes from. After that was established, I worked on a fitness concept. Here is where things got a little sticky –

I signed up at a gym that made sense for me, and began lifting and doing a small amount of cardio. At this point, all was good. But I have always aspired to be a runner. I often try to analyze why, and I simply don’t know why. I have just always felt a need to be able to say, yeah – I run. I think perhaps it is because I don’t like to be told I can’t do something, and my body was consistently sending that message. I also view running as a super big achievement for someone – something that they had to work towards. I wanted that achievement, too!

Running became my next goal. I found a program to help me through it, and I began.

I HATE IT. I hate every one of the [now] 28 minutes that I spend running on a treadmill. I don’t find it easy. I don’t find it cathartic. I don’t even know why they heck I am doing it. But every single day, I go back for more. Why? Because darn it, running is NOT going to beat me. The point of this story – the next lesson here – is to tell you, that sometimes your goals do not always align with your likes or what you find “fun”. Sometimes your goals are just something that you know will make you whole. Or something that you know “just needs to get done”. And that’s okay!!! It is okay to set your goal outside of what you love. I would actually argue that it pushes you more and makes you better, sooner!!

For some people, setting goals doesn’t come naturally so resources and tools are a must! There is so much out there, but I will show you what I use:

‘Love’ and ‘Start Today journal’ – words that go together well!

This is my Start Today journal! This journal comes from Rachel Hollis (is there anyone who doesn’t know who she is by now?) and I love it! I get beyond excited to write in it every morning! It starts off by asking you to write 5 things that you are grateful for. From there, you list 10 dreams, and then 1 goal. It keeps me straight and working within my goal every single day.

I also picked up Hollis’ Girl, Stop Apologizing, because it furthers the information on goal setting. I had previously read, Girl, Wash Your Face, and greatly enjoyed it, so it made sense that I would move on to her newest text.

It is also incredibly important to proclaim your goals every day, both within writing and speaking. Well, okay, maybe you don’t need to consistently say your goal aloud every day, but in your head and on paper is important. The Start Today journal takes care of that with the daily writing requirement. But I know that in the past I have always kept my dreams – my outlandish ideas of what I wanted in life – quiet. I hadn’t told my husband, I hadn’t put it on Facebook, and I feel that all it proved was that I wasn’t serious about them. Now: I write them, I speak them (just to my husband, but for right now that’s enough) and I admit them to myself; I want them THAT badly.

Mark Victor Hansen said: “By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands—your own.” And it is the truth. The person you should doubt the least in your life, is yourself. So why, do you doubt that person the most?! Set your goals, work on them, and acquire BIGGER goals once you meet the first set. You owe it to yourself.